I’ve Got Good News, and I’ve got Bad news...
The bad news: the ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE has already happened and the humans lost. Zombies now rule the world. They go to Zombie work, pay Zombie taxes, hang out at the local Zombie malls. It's not at all pretty.
The good news: it’s flippin’ hilarious!
You, and you alone, have the power to hire someone else to do the dirty work while you take all the credit. You alone have the ability to invent crazy weapons that somehow work, even though you have never even fired a flare gun, much less a real one. Only you can rise up and take back the night. And the day, for that matter. You alone can take a furry little badger, strap it to a stick, and call it a weapon. Only you can strap a rocket to the back of a chainsaw and watch it fly - LOOK OUT!
So go on. Hire yourself a Big Damn Hero. Make your crazy weapons and get ready to do battle with the legions of unholy monstrosities that infect this world. You’re not afraid of the creatures others flee from at the mere mention of their name. Creatures like Cleatus Gonna Eatus or Ryu Pee U. Or the one creature that all Big Damn Heroes fear: the dreaded ZOMBIE PUP!
So tread carefully my friends. Go forth and rid the world of the Zombie horde once and for all. Just do it before some other Joe Schmoe beats you to it. Or before another flippin’ Zombie Rights rally starts. Man, I really hate those!